Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Answers:

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken wasgoing. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggswhen the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me anyinsider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will belistening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warmingstory of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on toaccomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roadstogether - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only crossroads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balanceyour check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. ThePlatform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the roadmove beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is yourdefinition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?